Monday, December 05, 2005

the darkest side of me

i haven't seen him in days, not after tht night i saw his sons carrying him into the house. my mind is full of complicated feelings now, a sense of bittersweet symphony is playing quietly in me...

i was sitting in the living room, watching the dust exposed in the sunlight, dancing in the air. i haven't seen sunlight in the house for quite some time. the door has never been opened so wide, the curtain has never been revealed so carefree. i must admit i am happier now.

there is no sign of him being at home. i can't believe for once, my wish, the darkest wish i ever wished for, seems granted, all of a sudden.

i walked in and out the house, doing my chores and playing with my dogs. the air seemed fresher, i was feeling good. i didn't feel the creepy eyes following my moves and i found no shadow in tht gloomy room, neither behind tht curtain nor tht window.

there are certain anxiety in me, i definately feel a little guilt if the darkest wish of mine is granted.

i went to sleep at night and i peeped to the house from my bedroom window, i saw his slippers. is he home? will i see him tomorrow? i was wondering...

my mind pause in uncertainty, am confused what i wished for before but one thing for sure, i do not want to see him. am not sure what has happened to him, please don't come back, i like what it is like now.

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