21/10/06 : saturday

i thought am gonna lose puppy. i was calm in the morning. i thought mayb i have become immune to departing with the pets since i have seen them died in front of me before. then i started to feel guilty, does it mean i love puppy less? or now i jus focus on something else tht i don care about them as much as before? i cant help but having the sense of sin wash all over me. after my bath i saw puppy lying omos breathless on the sofa, my face with all tears running like river overflown. she was rushed to the vet immediately. i was all prepared to put her to sleep, thinking of tht, the tears washed the face again. the journey was quiet. we hav issues we need to deal with separately, our mind was occupied by different subjects. the weekend plan changed n separation came earlier than expected.